Home Leave: Why It’s Hard And What To Do About It

Posted on 26. Jun, 2009 by Emmanuelle Archer in Blog, Expat Life, Relocation, Tools & Resources
2 comments

Several readers commented, here and on Twitter, that even going home for a short visit felt difficult and weird.

That’s so true. Every time I go back to France to visit my mother, I go through a mini culture shock. It feels strange being surrounded by crowds again, and why are the streets so noisy? I didn’t use to think of my hometown as a noisy place. How did that happen?

Oh wait, it’s not France that’s changed. It’s me. And it’s not just a matter of being accustomed to the spaciousness and relaxed pace of life in Vancouver. I have changed on a much more fundamental level. My values have changed. My culture has changed.

Going home is painful because it forces me to face how much of a cultural mutt I am becoming. Not 100% Canadian, but no longer 100% French either. That’s hard to accept, the fact that our identities are slippery things. And it’s also very hard not to judge the French way of doing things from my new Canadianized viewpoint. Which makes me feel like a traitor. Great.

Another thing that makes home leave hard and stressful is that you don’t really have time to process all these weird, uncomfortable feelings. There are people to visit, places to go. No time to deal with your emotions. The clock is ticking and the race is on.

So how can you make home leave easier?

- Take a look at these techniques to help you beat reverse culture shock
- Here are 3 tips to stay sane during home leave
- And because it is always good to know you’re not alone, may I suggest this Telegraph article (a must-read for parents) and “It’s home leave time again!” by the always entertaining and insightful Robin Pascoe.

What home leave stories do you have to share with us?

Emmanuelle

Image: “Fugit” by littlenelly, via Flickr Creative Commons