This is the third post in a series designed to help you get reacquainted with your core identity. For the first two posts on this subject, see Expat Skill: How Well Do You Know Yourself? and Identify Your Values

Now that you have identified and listed your values, here comes the next step: defining your identity from the inside out.

All too often, when it comes to expressing who we are, we let outside circumstances take precedence. Our job, our house, even the type of car we own seem to be part and parcel of our identity.

The thing is, as an expat, you know all too well that the next assignment could bring dramatic changes to your life. You may have to give up a successful career to follow your partner. You may move from a duplex in a tony urban centre to a villa in an expat compound. You may go from being a well-connected social butterfly to feeling lonely and isolated as a newcomer.

The drawback is pretty clear: if you let outside circumstances rule your sense of self, any significant changes, even positive ones, will require you to rebuild your self-image entirely. To put it bluntly: if life throws you a curveball, you are in for a nice little identity crisis.

How can you prevent this from happening to you? This is where your inner values come to the rescue.

If your core values are, say, Integrity, Compassion and Contribution, you will bring these qualities to everything you say, do or attempt, no matter where you are.

Your values are permanent, independent of your location and they cannot be taken away from you, unlike a job or a house. Because your values motivate you and fire you up, you can always turn inward and draw strength from them, even in times of turmoil or crisis.

In other words, you will never lose your sense of identity if you define yourself from the inside- i.e. your core values- out- i.e. how you deal with external circumstances. This is one of the most powerful tools expats can give themselves to retain a strong, healthy sense of self throughout their assignments and eventual repatriation.

Go through the list of your values (here is a list of tips to help you if you have not listed them yet). Which ones do you live by every day? These are the building blocks of your identity; cherish them like the good, reliable friends they are. Which ones could you use more of in your life? Are there any that you have been neglecting somewhat?

In the next few posts, we will look at practical ways to express your authentic self in your everyday life, and how to use your values as a decision tool.

Emmanuelle
PS: Happy Kwanzaa to all those celebrating!

Related posts: How Well Do You Know Yourself? and Identify Your Values