Expat Happiness Tip #3: Identify Your Purpose In Life

Posted on 15. May, 2009 by Emmanuelle Archer in Blog, Tools & Resources
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Warning #1: Long post today!
Warning #2: Powerful tool ahead! So powerful, in fact, that it sometimes triggers a bit of resistance when I use it with new clients. Today, I am going to show you how to identify your purpose in life.

This is the first step toward a fulfilling, meaningful life. If your ambition is to thrive, then identifying your purpose is probably the fastest, most direct way to get there.

Whoa. I know. It seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? Yet there are a number of simple, helpful exercises that will get you there almost effortlessly. The thing is, the exercises will not work if you are having issues with the idea of “life purpose” itself.

If figuring out your life purpose sounds exciting and you are curious about the exercises, please keep reading! We will get down to work in a few moments.

On the other hand, if the whole thing sounds weird or grandiose to you, I want to acknowledge your discomfort and take some time to see what we can do to make you more comfortable here. It is important to me to address the questions and objections I hear the most around the concept of life purpose. Today’s post is already quite long though, so I will keep this discussion for an extra post tomorrow. Does that sound good?

This is where we roll up our sleeves and get to work!

Technique #1: The peak experience

Get ready: Get into a comfortable position, standing tall, sitting or lying down. Close your eyes and pay attention to your breathing for 10 breaths. (If you are used to meditating or if you have another kind of personal practice, feel free to substitute your own “get ready” ritual, of course)

Explore: Think of a time when you felt fully alive and vibrant. A moment when life was particularly rewarding. A moment when you were so fully engaged that you lost track of time.
Focus on that moment: how it felt. Where the sensation is located in your body right now. How it is making you feel right now.
Once you have a good snapshot of this moment, bring it back with you into the present and open your eyes.

What to look for: During your peak experience, what were you doing? What kind of person were you being?
Were there other people with you? Who were they? Were you doing something with them?
What kind of impact were you having?
What was most exhilarating about this experience?

Putting it all together: What struck you as particularly resonant or poignant? What gave you goosebumps and made you go, “Yes! This is what I am meant to do or be”? What are the important themes?

For example, one of my recent peak experiences was my latest trip to Lebanon, when I was able to show my travelling companion that Beirut was not the hellhole that he thought – after he relaxed and shed his initial reservations, we both had a brilliant trip.

This memory contains many of the big themes that run through my life: being abroad, exploring, guiding others, and finding beauty in unusual places. What made it particularly sweet for me was that I was able to share this beauty with my companion and inspire him to shift his perspective about the place we were visiting.

After playing with these themes for a while, I came up with the following statement: my purpose in life is to inspire others to find beauty and fulfilment throughout their own journey, wherever they may be.
On a scale from 1 to 10, I would give this statement a 9: I resonate with it. It feels very much like me. But it is a bit long and I would prefer something that sounds punchier – so now it is a matter of refining it further, until I get a statement I can use as my personal motto.

Technique #2: Use Your Imagination!

Sometimes the Peak Experience alone is not enough to identify your purpose – it may give you some themes, but something is missing. In this case, I find it helpful to vary the approaches and come at it from many different angles.

Here, I am giving you 5 different scenarios to play with. You do not need to try them all. Pick the ones that sound most interesting to you and do not worry about the others. I usually combine 2 or 3 of these scenarios when working with my clients.

Get ready: Get back into your comfortable, relaxed position. Once again, focus on your breathing for 10 breaths. Then close your eyes.

Explore:
1. Imagine that you are on a boat taking you to a desert island. It is a beautiful island and you have been given unlimited resources to do whatever you want with it. Currently there are no habitants, no animals, nothing there – what you create is entirely up to you.
What is your vision for your island? What kind of place is it?
2. Imagine that you have been granted a superpower: as you walk among people in the street, you can give them one skill or one quality that will change their life for the better.
What skill or quality do you give them? What can they do now that they could not do before?
3. Imagine a busy freeway near where you live. You have been given a free billboard on that freeway. You can use this billboard to convey any message you would like, knowing that it will impact several thousands of people a day.
What message do you put on your billboard? What does your billboard look like? What colours do you use? What is the impact on the drivers?
4. Imagine yourself at a ripe old age, receiving a lifetime achievement award. There is a buzz of anticipation in the packed auditorium. All your relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbours are there to honour you and thank you for the impact you had on their lives.
As you are introduced to the crowd, what stories does the MC tell about you? What qualities and accomplishments does he or she choose to talk about?
5. Imagine that your favourite director turns your life into a movie.
What is the storyline about? What genre of movie is it? How does the movie impact and move the viewers?

What to look for: Common themes.
What are the overarching themes that run through all these experiences?
What is the impact you are having on others throughout all these different scenarios? (Mine revolves around inspiring others and helping them see other perspectives)
Is there a metaphor that comes to mind? (The first time I did the billboard exercise, I got a very strong image of a medieval illuminated manuscript, which has since become a favourite personal metaphor of mine)

Putting it all together: Write down a single sentence expressing what you sense your life purpose to be.

It does not have to be perfect – you can always come back to it and polish it further if need be.

It does not have to sound a certain way. While you probably do not want it to sound like a corporate mission statement (“I will proactively leverage my transverse assets in order to blah blah blah”), you do not have to use yoga-speak or coach-speak either (“I am the beam of light that calls you forth to step into your greatness”, anyone?).

Just use your own words. And then pat yourself on the back for a job well done: you have identified your purpose in life! Dance a little dance, or have a little celebration, or fix yourself a delicious cup of tea – whatever your heart desires!

Emmanuelle

Picture by Faithful Chant – via Flickr Creative Commons